Coming Out Of My Spiritual Closet And My Life Being An Empath

So I've been reading a book called "Light is the new black" by Rebecca Campbell and within it she encourages you to be who you are and come out of the spiritual closest; if you're in one!

She talks about how this allows for everything in your life to be in alignment and when the authentic you is shown to the world, all your dreams and hopes and wishes can start to materialise.

This part of the book really spoke to me and called me to step up and come out of my spiritual closet! I've been in one for such a long time! Within the book she quotes a phrase:

 " I don't share to teach or convince others, I share to make those who feel the same as me feel less alone" 

That sold it to me. 

All my fears about "what people would think" went out the window; what people think of me is none of my business. 

If you don't like it or its too weird for you, I'm cool with that. I've never been everyone's cup of tea! 

All I care about is making people who feel the same as me feel less alone. It's that simple. 

Anyone who knows me, knows I'm a bit weird. Quirky, kooky and well, a bit different.

The world was tough and confusing. Being an only child, to a single parent, with polish speaking grandparents, poked fun of and picked on; my younger years were a bit of an emotional blur (but isn't everyone's?!).

From a young age, I didn't fit in many places, I was quiet and shy, I didn't like noise or frivolity, I was a bit of a wimp. I was sensitive, emotional and deeply empathic to people I hardly knew. It was a bit annoying. 

After 20 years or so of thinking there was something fundamentally wrong with me I finally discovered this was due to me being a Highly Sensitive Person, sometimes called Intuitive Sensitives or Empathic Sensitives, or just plain old 'Empaths'. 

Yeah! I'm not lying. This type of personality type/person actualy exists and I believe there is loads of us out there.

I'm proudly one of them, and it is my HSP personality type thats made me discover so much about spirituality. 

I'm good at sensing  people's emotions and can often feel how the people whom are closest to me feel. Not just know they're in a mood, but actually FEEL their emotions. Weird, but true.

I can also read most situations and understand (or have a feeling about) them long before the people involved do.

I intuitively know stuff, without being told or ever learning it. Nothing fazes me. 

This ultimately made my younger years a bit weird and confusing. I never asked to be like this. It certainly didn't feel like a gift. It's only after reading A LOT about being an empath and Heidi Sawyer's book titled "Highly Intuitive People" that I have come to accept myself. 

Just Googling "empath" or "highly sensitive people", will connect you to a whole new world!

I didn't trust this intuitive part of me for a long time though. Many people who know me wouldn't actually know this about me, because I shut it down to fit in. 

I stopped listening to this part of me and acted nievely and could be quite insensitive at times, often putting my foot in it and cringing for days afterwards about what I said. Or being overly loud and a bit crazy (this always involved alcohol I might add!). I certainly HATED the empathic side too; crying in public or at strangers weddings is NOT cool, and being thought of as a wimp because I get tired when I'm overwhelmed and over stimulated, makes me feel like a total baby.

I suppose my first experinece of it was in school and I always felt different, I knew what was going on and I didnt like it. So I stopped listening to my intuative and spiritual side and followed the crowd. I couldn't though, shut off my inner empath - annoying. 

I followed the crowd for so long. So, so long.

So what's it like to be an empath?

Well, I get exhausted if I'm in noisy places with a lot of people (shopping centres, schools etc) as I absorb and easily take on energies of people, even total strangers.

I'm particularly sensitive to noise. 

I'm so sensitive to smells - perfume is like the most potent and head-ache inducing poison. Blergh!

I hate clutter and mess. I believe "stuff" carries energies just like people do, and "stuff" makes me feel like a room full of crowded people do - exhausted and irritable!

I can intuitively feel and sense someones emotions, sometimes this effects my moods and it can be totally confusing to know exactly how I feel.

These kind of attributes make me a bit of a nightmare friend and partner. As if I'm over stimulated, not rested, looked after or around any form of negativity I get snappy, anxious and agitated. This results in emotional outbursts - anger and sadness - and those closet to me, get it the hardest.

Often feeling like "no one understands me, I'm all alone, I just can't take any of this anymore"

That is until I learned about 'me'. Now I know these things about me I protect myself, (learn how in future blogs) and I accept wholeheartedly the person I am. I

'm and so easy going, hard working, fun, creative, adventure seeking, active and highly amusing (so I'm told!) it's not all doom and gloom being a HSP! Reading Heidi Sawyers book made me understand why I was one and all the benefits of being one. The links between discovering this about myself and discovering my own spirituality were astonishing to me. 

I once read that empaths will be in-demand in a rapidly changing world - knowing intuitively how to solve issues and problems. The world is evolving and the human race is too. 

With books like "The Highly Sensitive Child" by Elaine Aron and "The Strong, Sensitive boy" by Ted Zeff, it's obvious there are more Empaths or HSP's being born in the world, and struggling to fit in, just like me. 

So, what about spirituality? 

I couldn't make sense of the world, but I always had a sense that I should be doing something a bit different within it.

From a young age I was into essential oils and aromatherapy, but this was long before that kind of therapy was mainstream.  It was almost like a little secret I'd keep hidden; what would people think if they knew I was into smelly oils!? 

To my mum I would admit I wanted to be a holistic therapist, but to the world I just wanted to be accepted.

I loved art and making things. One of the best thing my mum ever bought me was an art encyclopedia! I loved that freaking book! None of my friends seemed to though.

Scared of not being aceepted or fitting in, I adopted a 'Kathy the world would accept' personality, and stopped being the real me.

She came with me everywhere and I fooled pretty much every person I met. I left the real Kathy (who loved alternative and holistic therapies, uber nutritious foods, crystals, angels, chakras, yoga, art and the Horoscopes) at home but soon she was so neglected and dismissed, she started to disappear.

That's when I turned my back on any form of "spirituality" I had started and forged through life, living each day as 'normal' Kathy, I stopped listening to my intuition and inner voice.

I always felt lonely, I always felt like a victim and I never honoured my 'self'. 

I lived in my Human Ego Personality. 

I know, belive and wholeheartedly understand that this has happened to thousand if not millions of girls and women all across the globe, but now it's safer than ever to delve back into your spirit, your inner voice and a your soul. 

Celebs like Russell Brand is doing a STERLING job of trying to wake up the world, even Kanye, Madonna, Gwyneth P, Richard Gere, Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, Goldie Hawn and Oprah talk openly about their spiritual side. 

Only now, after being pushed and pushed and pushed by the universe, to discover more about my spirituality, rediscovering my passions and gifts, do I really feel like who I am, who I should be. And it feels super ace to get it all down on paper and share it. For once I don't care what people think!


I know I'm a little out there, but I'm intelligent, savvy, talented, funny, grateful, kind, caring, attentive, loving, sensitive, empathic and I make the most of what I have.

Being 'spiritual' doesn't mean I think I'm better or any different from anyone else. 

Everyone is on a journey. 

We are all just at different points of that journey and there isn't even an end point. 

Just when you think there is, something massive comes along and shows you there's more room to grow.

Spirituality isn't religion either.

My spirituality for me is connecting to 'source' (The universe, the light, God, spirit, soul) as much as possible (I do this through meditation) and know that everything happens for a reason. Even the darkest times are for a reason, for our souls growth. There's no victim mode when we know this. Even my irritations are to help my souls experince something, in my physical body.

I believe we are all a soul, who's been here for lifetimes, in a human body. Each soul chooses the body, the family, the parents and even the experiences we have. 

I know this maybe hard to get your head around, but Steve Jobs once said: "you can't connect the dots looking forward, but looking back, the harshest and painful times in my life, were for a reason." Watch this video for a very human explanation of this concept!

It's about finding what really matters in life and living in love and peace.  Raising the love and vibration of the planet so that we can all live in harmony. Being kind, giving thanks and most importantly GROWING.

The more of us that wake up, the less dark there is. The more love, unity and peace there is, the more quickly the world will ascend. 

The more benefits to humanity, the planet and our future generations.

People's perceptions of me are usually very, very wrong. (I blame the alcohol!)

That's cool, because here is where I share the real me. I've finally found somewhere I can pour out my heart and head and help people.

So to everyone reading this, you're not alone. You never are. Your soul is always with you. Even the angels are with you, if you ask them to be. 

I've lived most of my entire life as someone else and thinking I was alone, and I'm done with that.

So here's me. I'm 'out'. I believe in some pretty far out stuff. I'm empathic and sensitive. I'm crazy and often have awkward conversations. I love trees and nature. I love my friends and family. I've learned to let go of what people think and I embrace each day. I still struggle at times to accept the real me and how I truly feel because I can easily take on other peoples energy and this infiltrates mine and affects my mood. I need a lot of rest, quiet and downtime. I need feeding regularly! I'm fierce and determined. I'm very passive and accepting. I'm open. I don't have walls. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Most of all I'm kind and compassionate and very considerate and I believe in spirituality, angels, god, light and unicorns. I belive I have a purpose and by writing this I'm living it.

Phew!

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Friendly advice...

So I just got a message from a dear friend, desperate for some help. 



She feels stuck and like the past keeps re-occuring. She knows her past is keeping her from moving forward, but doesn't know how to let it go. 

I was flattered and honoured that I was able to help her, but I want that help and love to reach everyone - well as many people as possible! So I decided to write this quick blog :) Here's what I told her to do, bearing in mind she is open to almost anything! I have NO DOUBT that she will feel 100 times better after this!

Firstly I set up an EFT session with her. She has done EFT/tapping by herself and with me before but I'm gathering painful memories keep re-occuring and it's almost impossible to treat these by self - tapping, because your subconscious won't "go there" as it can be just too painful. So in true friend style, I offered to help her. (If you don't have a friendly EFT tapping friend, then consider making the investment.) If there is something big and painful you want to let go of then I would always recommend EFT!

Secondly I told her about a book "Positive EFT" by Silvia Hartmann. It's a fab little book (£5 on kindle/Amazon) which is perfect for raising your energy and helps you instantly feel better. It's EFT you can do for yourself, by yourself, anywhere and only takes a few minutes a day. 

Thirdly I told her about the Mercury Retrograde which is starting its pre-shadow phase in a few days. If you don't know what one is, I urge you to find out a bit more. I will try and explain as much as I can here now. 

So basically Mercury goes into 'retrograde' of the Earth, which means it appears to be travelling backwards, but its not, it's all to do with the orbits and time taken. Understanding what retrograde is, isn't important. Understanding what it means is.

It is believed that when Mercury is in retrograde it is a time of raking up the past and old 'stuff' being shown, not to annoy and irritate you, but to show you what needs letting go of, what needs forgiveness, what lessons need to be learned and acknowledged, so you can move on and GROW.

Life is all about growth. You can't grow if you don't acknowledge your lessons and experiences, or if you are holding onto past hurt and not forgiving. 

So in the pre-shadow phase, which starts in 3 days, you may find yourself thinking about 'old' stuff, people from the past, situations etc. If you do, know that this is a good thing! See it as an opportunity to be able to let this go once and for all!! NB: you don't have to do anything hard or tricky to let this stuff go! Bear with me.

Write down what comes up for you and ask yourself: 'what lessons am I being taught? Who do I need to forgive? What have I learned?' and journal it out baby!

Write, write, write. The answers are often more obvious that you think. 

Be prepared. I always used to get so upset and feel life wasn't fair and think that I was stuck forever in an endless cycle of ups and downs. I wasn't of course - I just knew jack all about Mercury Retrograde! Now I know to expect old stuff to come back during these times. THATS GOOD! It means I can let go of it and move on. 

Be prepared for old past stuff to come back during this time (this one lasts most of September), be prepared. 

Once you think you know what it is you need to let go of or do, write it down. "I'm choosing to let this go" or "I have learned XYZ from this situation, I give thanks for the opportunity, now I let it go."

And thats it! This is what I do. I have learned all I know from a wonderful woman called Elizabeth Peru. She releases detailed Mercury Retrograde information as well as a daily energy forecast which I LOVE! Check her out on Facebook, or Instagram, or she has a wicked blog found on her website.

I also told her to be kind to herself and not expect too much. There's a full moon coming this weekend too. Lot's of stuff going on! The best things you can do (besides my advice) is to do what you love when you feel like this. I paint, or write, or draw, or just chill and watch the Kardashians (#sorrynotsorry) !! 

AND THATS OK!

Love and Light to you all xxxxxxx

Please share!!!! Follow me on Facebook, Instagram (@kathrynpearson_eftandwellness) and Twitter (Search Kathryn Pearson EFT)

So you failed? Something went wrong? Life's s@*t!!

So exam results are out, it's either a happy time or one of bitter disappointment and regret.

If you passed your exams then WOO HOO!! Go you. You've seen first hand how hard work pays off and you should completely relish this feeling. Remember all that hard work and worry? Well now you know it's all worth it ;)

BUT if you're not feeling like the above annoying paragraph, then this could be the post for you...

What do you do when you've failed your exams?

Firstly know you're not the first and you won't be the last. You're not alone.

Also, failure doesn't mean that's it. It's not the end. It's just the beginning my dear!

Do you believe that if you fail then that's it? Where does that belief come from? Because it's certainly not true. 

Failure is here in your life experience to TEACH YOU SOMETHING. Failure, whilst disappointing and a bit embarrassing, is here for a reason. Everything happens for a reason and if you can't see that yet, then stop crying and wipe your eyes, because I promise the answer will be revealed to you.

The British education system is not for everyone. It's certainly no perfect standard for which to measure yourself against. It itself is flawed and ridiculous and the ridiculousness of it all is one of the main reasons I left education. It doesn't cater for everyone. It's not inclusive and in my opinion is an unfair way of measuring 16 year olds.

Learning how to grow from disappointment or failure is one of the best skills you can develop, and I encourage you to master it! 

If you're not scared then you're not growing, is some of the best advice I've picked up along my way. And I urge you to let that sink in.

If somethings not scary, or hard, or challenging, then you're not growing. IF something is scary, or hard, or challenging, THEN YOURE GROWING, and that a bloody good thing! Life is  ALLLLLL about growth - simple!

So I'm growing, great. So what do I actually do I do now then?

Well I've devised some probing questions to help push you gently along and find some answers. They might feel a bit raw and even painful to answer. I urge you to be as honest as possible. Just answer the questions, see what comes up. If the answers scare you - definitely do it. 

 - What did you learn from this situation?

Maybe that you're not good at exams? That the revision you did wasn't effective? That you panic and forget stuff? That you simply didn't do enough? That the education system is annoying and unfair? What ever it is, acknowledge it and put in place steps to overcome this.

- What can you do to improve now going forward in your life? 

What ever the situation taught you, acknowledge it and put in place steps to overcome this from ever happening again. What can you do next time to change the outcome. What have you LEARNED?

- Looking back, what did you do right? What did you do best at? 

Always focus on the positives. Yeah you might not be great at maths, but focus on your strengths. For they are your skills and talents. And your skills and talents are what will make you successful. They might not be the same as everyone else, but that's a good thing! You certainly don't need a GCSE in Maths to be successful in your life (yes, you might need it if you want to go to university but that doesn't define success). 

 - What do you really want to do now?

Focus on your dreams and goals, not the path of your friends or others. Be honest with yourself and your parents, listen to that inner voice that is whispering to you. 

- What could be your next steps towards this dream or goal?

Get investigating. 

- Is your path totally blocked because you've failed your exams?

Have you asked? That college place might still accept you. Don't write something off until you KNOW. Is there a way to retake a failed exam? Investigate your options.

- Is there something positive you can do to help refocus you and your thoughts? 

Focus on you. What could you do to help feed your soul and your purpose?

And if you think you're the only one , here's a list of people who failed numerous times, or dropped out of school at 16, or who were told they'd never make anything of themselves, who were told they weren't good enough. 

Point being - KEEP TRYING, DON'T GIVE UP, STAY FOCUSSED, BE YOU. 

Bill Gates
Walk Disney
Alan SugarAlbert Einstein 
Winston Churchill 
Thomas Edison 
Oprah Winfrey
Jk Rowling
the Beatles
Simon Cowell
Jonny Depp
Richard Branson

My one and only poem. "It's not for you"

It's not for you, 
Whatever you may think, 
It's not for you, 
Please don't  make the mistake,  
Of thinking any of this is for you.

It's not for you, 
The photos of my daughter, dog or garden,
The uploads of my day,  
The statuses I write,
Its not for you.

Please don't be offended,
That none of its for you,

I'm not trying to please you 
Or show off to you, 

I'm using the Internet,
To document events, 
I'm living my life,  
With heart,

I live for the moment, 
And I capture it, I share it and I archive it.
None of its for you.

The pictures I share are for me,
For my aunty who doesn't see me as much as she'd like, 
For my cousins in other countries,
For my best friends on other time zones,
For my mum who lives round the corner,

Sometimes some of it is for the missing pieces of my family, 
I know they might not see, but a small part of me hopes they do.

None of its for you.

So please, if my life offends you, 
Remember none of its for you.

Please don't waste a second contemplating my life. 
Or comparing your life to mine.

No one knows what each of us faces,
The stuff we don't share, 
The stuff that's too hard to share. 
The stuff that we really should share....

Next time you see an upload and you make a judgement,
Remember none of its for you.

Life is for living, 
Life is for loving,
Life is for peace, 
Life is for joy.

Let's ditch the jealousy, the resentment, the comparison,  the low energy thoughts.

Let's all be kind. 
Let's all support each other.
Let's all love one another.

If someone is shining brighter than you, Contemplate what you can do,
To shine your light in your own special way. 
Let them inspire you,
Let them be the reason you make a change

Don't waste your time thinking any of this is for you. 

Colouring pages!

So...whilst I should have been finishing off other blogs, working on my workbook/journal and generally writing chapters for my VIP (very important project!), I've been doing this instead!

I had a crazy idea to draw my own colouring pages for people to print off and colour in.  (I've talked about how being creative and colouring in can help reduce stress and promote well being and is almost a bit like mediataion in previous posts.) And the very same morning I got out my paper and pens and started sketching, before I knew it I had 4 beautiful pages which I loved, I scanned them, edited them and set up a page for people to download them. Late nights and early mornings were involved!

And they're here! For you!  I pretty much did nothing else until they were done, and I'd SO love you to get YOUR copy...

The link is here >>

http://bit.ly/1hx7dEW

I hope you love them! I hope you find some peace colouring them and I really hope you share your coloured ones with me!  

And please share this with anyone you think would like to get their hands on these colouring pages ;)

Post them on Instagram and tag me @kathrynpearson_eftandwellness 

Or post to my Facebook page www.facebook.com/kathrynpearsoneft 

Judgement and Comparison ... how I stopped my habit

OK so this blog is something that I never expected to be writing about. But it was just there in my head and I couldn't ignore it. 

It's all about learning to manage my ikky 'comparison and judgement' habit. I've never shared it here on my blog before because well, it's a bit embarrassing to admit, but I figured it was time to be totally transparent.... so here goes!

It's possibly my biggest flaw and downfall. It trips me up when I least expect it to and it causes me the most hurt and harm. It makes me jealous of others and feeds the lower energies of my ego. I HATE it!

I've struggled with this for most of my life, and I wanted to share my experiences of it to help anyone who might feel and do the same as me, so you don't feel so alone and hopefully help you along on your path of being happy and content in your own skin and life. 

We live in a world where women are judged for EVERYTHING they do, say and wear; from celebrities to our 'friends' on Facebook, and as cringe-full as it is to admit - I have a habit of doing it alllll the time. Or at least I used to - it's something I'm working on! The same goes for comparing myself - Comparing my life to that of my 'friends' on Facebook or the trendy yoga girl on Instagram I follow.

Because we now have access to such a range and wealth of images, magazines, blogs, vlogs, people's daily lives (thanks Facebook!) and such, we literally have hundreds of people that we are able to compare ourselves to or judge whenever we are feeling a little low, a little lost or when something bad happens to us. 

It's pretty much one of the most damaging things you can do. Trust me, I've done it most of my life.

For me it started from being a young child, trying to fit into the world. A world where I felt very, very insecure about who I was because I felt different, so I did everything I could to fit in. 

This meant meticulously comparing and measuring myself up to other people and adjusting myself to make me 'acceptable' and 'likeable' to those around me. I'm a very good intuitive analysis!

And it's a habit I've carried on throughout my adult life. A habit that so hard to break. A habit that's one of the main reasons I kept myself hidden and small for such a long time. A habit which prevented me from following my dreams.

You see, because I was always trying to fit in, I lost touch with who I was and this made me unhappy. I've blogged before about doing what YOU love and following your purpose. You can read more about that here.. It's such an important topic for me. It fires me up and I urge you to read that blog, because each and everyone of us has the right to be following our life purpose (and trust me, we ALL have one).

I believe most of us at some point, lose touch with who we truly are through life experience or trauma. And instead of learning and growing from that we end up in victim mode, unhappy and pushed further from our authentic, true self, far, far away from who we are. Just like I did.

And being out of touch with who we truly are (aka: being happy and fulfilled) makes us unhappy and more likely to be focusing on other peoples lives rather than our own. 

What I mean by this is: our life experiences shape our beliefs about ourselves and our traumas kick out of us our authentic, happy self, and we go into victim mode. Now, because we have so much information about other people at our finger tips, it's easy to start comparing our lives and judging other people. By no means does this make us feel better about ourselves. Not at all. But we still do it right?

In short, if we are unhappy in our own lives, maybe we are a little bit 'lost', we don't know who 'we' are -  we start critiquing others, judging them makes us feel a bit better about our crappy life.

For me, this was the case and up until very recently, I still had a hard time knowing who I truly was, what made me happy and what I should be doing with my life, because I had this childhood habit of desperately wanting to fit in, never stopping for long enough to listen to my inner voice, never stopping to do what I loved, never filling my own self up, never nurturing my own desires, needs and wants. Never. Just doing whatever it took to fit in. I was so scared of being made fun of, or having no friends!

What I've learned...

In short, everyone has a story. Everyone has a past.  Everyone is battling something you know nothing about. 

No one's Facebook profile is a true reflection of their lives. No ones public persona is a true reflection of how they FEEL inside.

No one, apart from my close friends and family, knew that for three years me and my family were placed under enormous pressure and that my partner had depression and that our lives were in a mess. I never put THAT on facebook! And neither does anyone else. No one shares their deepest times.  So while it all looks rosey and happy, it's probably not.

That skinny, pretty girl who you're jealous of, probably has a trauma or past or background you know nothing about. She most likely battles everyday with her own personal drama. Forgive her, be kind and let it go.

What you can do...

1. Focus on you. That sounds too simple, but part of my 'rehab' was to eliminate anyone or anything out of my life that made me a smidgen jealous or that I compared myself to. Restricting my social media time helped, but unfollowing pages and people on FB and Instagram helped. Seriously, looking at pictures of '#squatchallenge' didn't make me feel good!! If I found myself comparing myself to anyone I immediately put down my phone and walked away. Life is too short.

Seriously focus on you.. 

2. BE KIND! Now this is a toughie, but if you can in still in your mind that everyone is made from the same source, we are all one - humanity - then you can start to learn to love everyone. You don't have to physically love them, but wanting the best for everyone - even people that have hurt you or caused you pain - can cause huge upshifts in your behaviour and thoughts. I did a lot of this through EFT (if you'd like to know more about EFT sessions with me then please get in touch), I was able to forgive people and let go of anger and resentment and even mild annoyances!! 

I fricking LOVE EFT for being able to do that! Something so silly that annoys you about someone can literally be tapped away in a matter of minutes! 

3. Forgive and send out loving thoughts and they will return to you. I'm a huge beliver in the Law of Attraction, which is gaining more popularity in books like "The Secret" and people like Louise Hay and Wayne Dyer have also made it more well known. I'm a huge fan of "Ask and it is given" by Esther and Jerry Hicks, or anything from the Abraham Hicks collection. If these call you. .. check them out ;) The Law Of Attraction, in a nutshell, is the belief that like attracts like and what you think about, wether positive or negative, you bring about. You shape your life experience through your thoughts. 

It took me AGES to get my head around this and step out of my ego to see that I was the creator of my life experience. I was in victim made for a long time and thought that life happened to me. 

I didn't realise how much control over my own life I had. Once I understood that my thoughts, words and actions created my life experience, my life turned on its head. An amazing book which introduced me to changing my thoughts, was Susan Jeffers "Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway", I HIGHLY recommend it. 

4. Making a pact to not slag people off or bitch about people with your friends can make a huge difference too. What you think, speak and feel, will be returned to you via karma and law of attraction. If you're constantly bitching and moaning about other people; people will be bitching and moaning about you too - and it's not always the people you expect it to be and it may come at a time when you least expect it. Everything that happens to us is a direct result of a past action, thought or feeling/expectation, wether you believe so or not! It's really hard to do this ALL the time, but making a small step in the right direction is more than worthwhile! BE KIND!

5. Quotes like these I have featured in this blog and especially:  "A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms" are also ace to have around, to remind you that it's so important to focus on yourself.

6. When I competed my Art of Living Meditation course, I left feeling like I knew the 10 people on the course with me, like really knew them. I loved every single one of them, the course broke down huge parts of my ego and I left totally in love with the whole of humanity. Now that makes me sound like a total crack pot - but seriously; from then on I personally was able to let go of my habit of comparison and judgement and anytime it cropped up in a new situation I am able to replace it with the feeling of love and kindness. I owe so much to that course and the meditation/breathing techniques it taught me! Meditation was a huge catalyst for me. It again, took me ages to get into properly, but now, I do it every day. It's the one thing that isn't negotiable. Meditation changed my life! I used to think I wasn't spiritual or special enough to meditate. I thought it was a waste of time and that I was too stressed and busy to do it. 

Once I got over myself and realised that I could do anything, I tried all sorts of meditation before I found what was right for me. A good place to start is 'guided meditations' on YouTube, a Yoga class, an App called 'Sattva' or breathing Apps. I had to play around for a while until I found what was right for me, you might have to too. Keep with it :)

7. Forgive. Forgivness creates peace and peace creates love. The more you practice this the easier it gets. Try writing a forgiveness letter to whoever has hurt you. If there's still anger there, I urge you to try EFT - it really shifts anger! I promise, I will post an anger tapping video soon!

8. Do what YOU love. Not what other people do. If something makes you uncomfortable, don't do it. Focus only on what you like doing. Learning to say no to everything else is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

Do what you love to do - whatever it is. My mentor once asked me "when was the last time you felt like you?" ... even I was shocked at the answer. At 31 years old, the last time I felt like 'me' was when in was doing my GCSE Art exam. From that day I started doing art again.  I redrew my GCSE art piece and bought myself an easel and some proper pencils!  I decided to stop watching TV every evening and dedicate part of my week to doing something I loved. 

Ask yourself the same question... "when did you last feel like you?" Or "what were you doing the last time you felt like you were "in the flow" or doing what you were supposed to be doing?"

The answer might surprise you! If any old beliefs or blocks surface in your mind about why you CANT do it, write them down and analyse where they've come from. Don't let anything stop you from being you. 

9. Give gratitude EVERYDAY. As I write this I'm in gratitude rehab because my daily gratitude habit has slipped slightly. And didn't I notice a difference? ! HUGE difference in my thoughts and attitudes. I found myself being miserable for no reason and this was after just over a week of not doing my daily graitide journal. A WEEK!  See my blog on gratitude here.

In short (!) How I got over my habit of comparison and judgement was to practice kindness to ALL and concentrate on myself. Simple! 

If you'd like to read more I have searched and found some fantastic blogs about comparison and judgement from some other bloggers. You can read their blogs by clicking on the links below.

I also wrote a poem around this topic. I've never written one before, but you can check it out here....

If you want to know any more about what I've written about or you'd like to talk about EFT, please get in touch via email info@kathrynpearson.co.uk or message me on Facebook. (www.facebook.com/kathrynpearsoneft)

Be sure to follow me on Instagram too @kathrynpearson_EFTandWellness 

                                 

Links to other blogs and further reading

A Blog About Love is AMAZING! I love it. Danny and Mara blog about relationships, fertility, marriage, spirituality and all things LOVE. Here's an exert and link to their Blog:

"If you are dwelling in negativity and self criticism, guaranteed it will spew over to your husbands, kids, boyfriends, girlfriends, family and coworkers.  You can't really hide that stuff.  And guess what - - it's not attractive.  It doesn't lead to happy marriages and relationships.  So if you are letting your desire for skinniness/riches/fame/attention make you feel negatively, think of the poisonous negative energy you are sending into the world and the effect it is having on others.  Consider that you are teaching your children to live this way as well.  Use your love for others as a catalyst for trying to change your ways.  Love really is the most powerful force that can help us to stay on track." Read more here.



A second blog I found was this by Toni Bernhard (See her bio below) 

"A friend of mine likes to joke that dying will be a relief because it will put an end to the “heavy burden of judging” as she calls it. She envisions herself lying in a hospital bed and, moments before death, noticing the ceiling and thinking, “What a hideous green.”

Here’s a modest proposal: Vow that for the rest of the day, you won’t judge your friends and you won’t judge any strangers you happen to see. This would include a friend who’s a non-stop talker; it would include a friend who’s always complaining about his life. It would include the strangers you pass on the street or see in a waiting room." Read more here.

Toni Bernhard is the author of the award-winning How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and Their Caregivers and How to Wake Up: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide to Navigating Joy and Sorrow. Her newest book is called How to Live Well with Chronic Pain and Illness: A Mindful Guide. Before becoming ill, she was a law professor at the University of California—Davis. Her blog, “Turning Straw Into Gold” is hosted by Psychology Today online. Visit her website at www.tonibernhard.com.