Stress and Success. How you could be sabotaging your chances of success

"But if I'm not stressed, it means I don't care"

 

So it seems stress is now a normal part of daily life for almost everyone.

And that's OK.  We need stress, we need some stress to carry out daily activities. 

BUT excessive stress, worry, anxiety and fears seem to be 'the norm' for teenagers.

If you're not stressed, anxious or worried, then you appear to not care, like you have to be stressed to do well and show you're serious.

But success and excessive stress do not go hand in hand. 

When the brain perceives  "too much stress" a small part of the brain, called the amygdala, goes into 'fight or flight' or FREEZE mode. Which is not good for our memory or at times when we need to access all of our brain, memories, learned information etc.


A good way of explaining this is when using a computer and you overload it with too much information - basically demanding too much from it and expecting it to quickly switch from page to page, run 10 documents at once, including 5 internet pages and expecting it to do this for hours on end - but it freezes, gets slow and eventually shuts down. 

We've all had screen freeze, right? 

Well that's how your brain works. 

So the result of being too stressed, having too much going on? Your brain freezes up and you start getting confused, forgetting information, you resist learning new stuff, you appear distant and like you don't care, you can't meet deadlines and you feel like just giving up.

I get it.

The amygdala has a lot to answer for! In primitive times, the fight or flight response was responsible for saving us when we were being chased by tigers and stuff.

 That doesn't really happen anymore, (which is kind of a good thing, yeah?!) but the fight or flight response still gets triggered by daily life events; such as an exam, a deadline or a worrying situation. The brain perceives these events to be dangerous because we fear them so much. 

Its worth mentioning here that the amygdala is like a fire alarm; it can't distinguish between a real fire and burning toast, it can't distinguish between a real life threatening situation or an upsetting/stressful event. This releases a hormone called CORTISOL.

Cortisol causes all that forgetfulness, feelings of overwhelm and physical symptoms of stress such as headaches, tearfulness, butterflies, queasy feelings and a racing heart. All your blood and energy goes to your legs - everything else, like digestion, just shuts off, because your body believes you need to run....run away from that tiger. But, as we know, it's just not like that anymore. 

So what can you do? 

Reduce your stress & learn to cope with stress better, aka up your resilience. 

• There have been numerous scientific studies showing the effectiveness of EFT (Tapping) on cortisol levels and the amygdala. You can read more here. In the 'articles' section.

• I've put together a tapping script for you to download here. 
• Attend a yoga class or practice some breathing at home. You cannot be stressed and relaxed at the same time and yogic breath techniques promote relaxation, giving you that all important time to reflect, relax and restore. You can read my past blog on how to control your breath and exactly what it's so important here. 

• Download my free top tips for stress reduction here. Getting out in nature, making up an affirmation and getting creative are all important stress busting techniques.

• Get organised!! You have so much stuff to do, remember and learn, there's no way you can process it without getting it all organised. Sort out your folders, write your exam dates down on your calendar, plan your revision time, (don't worry about how you will revise just yet... just block out time to dedicate to revising) catch up with work you've missed. 

There is nothing more stressful than ignoring what NEEDS to be done!! 

So be kind to yourself and get it done...!

If you feel anyone you know would benefit from reading this please forward this email on! Share the resources too....

Ripple out the love and help.

Loads of love, light, and organisational vibes :)
Kathy

www.kathrynpearson.co.uk

Would love you to visit my Facebook, Twitter or Instagram sites too :)

Organisation - How to easily and efficiently prepare for your exams

Getting started. The first step. Its the biggest hurdle.

And its a BIG hurdle. One that causes so much stress and worry. 'why has everyone else started revising?' and 'Well I'm definitely going to fail now, because I haven't even started! May as well give up now and act like I don't care.'

The biggest mistake? Not getting past this hurdle. NOT starting. Feeling the fear and giving up!
It's taken me a while to realise that one of my gifts, one of the things that I'm good at without even really trying, could be shared with you guys and used to help you.

What you ask?!

Getting organised. Getting stuff done. Prioritising. Seeing what others can't see.. solutions, ways of doing this differently, streamlining systems, making stuff easier. 

This will take time but man is it worth it.... and you also get my full permission to go and buy new pens and stationery! 

1. Firstly, ORGANISE your folders or books. You will need dividers, a hole punch & highlighters.

2. Put all your work in order! Sort out all those sheets you have, make title pages so stuff is easy to find and then organise it all into topics or sections. 

3. Discover what work is missing. Ask an organised friend to show you their folder... what sheets or work do you have missing? Write this down and then go and see you teacher. Get these missing notes or work. 

Don't do anything else until you have done this for each subject!   

4. Then get paper, pens, post-its and anything else you think will help with your revision. Make a clear space for revising. Treat it like a sanctuary! Surround yourself with positive statements and motivational quotes. "This too shall pass" is my personal fave; meaning "this time in my life now is bloody agony, but it WILL be over sooner than I know, so I'm just going to suck it up and get on with it!"

5. Get clear on what you need to learn. Ask you teacher (or look on the Web) for your subject specification. This lists all the areas or topics which you could be examined on. Some of your teachers may have shared this with you already. USE IT! Make sure you know and have notes or access to notes (textbooks) in each subject. Make sure you have past papers and understand exactly what the exam will look and be like. If this is overwhelming or you're running out of time, leave the stuff you really don't understand and focus on the stuff you do 'get'. Even skimming through a textbook and discussing the topics with your Mum or sister, friend or teacher will allow you to gain a grasp of the topic. 

6. THIS IS IMPORTANT. Plan your revision.
- Plot onto my 4 week exam time calendar when and where your exams are.

- In a different colour plot on when you plan to revise for upcoming exams and between your exams, on both the exam time calendar and the plain copy of the 4 week planner (which can be photocopied so you have as many months worth as you need to)

- In a different colour plot on when school run exam sessions are.

- Make time each day for SL (Self-Love) even if it is 20 mins in the bath, or an early night, schedule it in. 

 -Then plot on any other commitments which you have i.e. a job or a family gathering.


7. Don't worry about 'how to' revise. Don't worry about the perfect way. Don't worry that everyone else is doing it right and you're doing it wrong. Theres no one perfect way to revise. I used to copy and copy and copy. Some people prefer to concise everything onto prompt cards. Mind maps are helpful for all sorts of learners. Watching videos, or typing everything up has also proven pretty good for some students I've come across. Making a powerpoint of everything you've learned is also helpful. You have to choose what is right for you. Do what feels right. Trust yourself - for once!

8. Attend revision sessions! Sounds like a no brainer, but don't avoid these; soak them up. 

9. Make time to relax and look after yourself. This is a short period of your life, that feels like its never ending. Don't bottle up worries; share these with your parents or a nice teacher. Get some help. Don't do it alone.

Most of all FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY!!!! This time of your life is scary, it is terrifying but if you feel the fear and give up, you will never know how amazing it is to come out the other side of the fear and SUCCEED!! 

Believe in yourself. "I AM successful and powerful and I have nothing to fear". Try repeating that silently to yourself any time you feel 'the fear' (Don't worry, no one will know!).

Top Tips for Surviving Your Exam Period

So it's finally here.
You've revised your back side off, you've had sleepless night, tearful breakdowns, panicked, stressy and angry outbursts. 

There's nothing more you can do now.

And if that statement alone makes your heart sink and tummy flutter, then this blog is for you! 

When I was sitting my exams all the advice given was, well pretty rubbish. And it seems to have been regurgitated every year since. I'm still reading blogs and news posts with the same "helpful tips for the exam period". Bore off. 

So here's my 'alternative' but actionable and practical take on the normal mainstream tips for you guys sitting exams .... like imminently. 

1. Tap. Seriously. Tap, tap, tap! I'm talking EFT here, Emotional Freedom Technique often called tapping. 

What is tapping? And why on earth should I listen to this crazy woman? See my videos below!

Just 5 mins of tapping before you leave for your exam, or the night before, can transform the way you feel.

Even 5 mins in the toilets before you get called in can seriously help. (Anythings got to be better than listening to people with surnames begging with the same letter as yours, bang on about their exam stories - right?) 

"Tapping in" some positive statements or affirmations can calm the stress centre of the brain, the amygdala, which clears negative emotions and boosts confidence. 

This stuff honestly works! I have helped so many teens using this technique during this exam period. My YouTube Channel has tons of videos which explain and show you how. Pop over there to find out more. Here's how you can start tapping now:

Start by tapping on the karate chop point, the fleshy part of the side of your hand; repeating a positive statement to yourself such as, "I am calm and confident, I can pass this exam". 

Repeat 3 times here, before moving through the points starting at the top of the head. 

Repeat the positive statement "calm and confident", "I will pass this exam" etc whilst tapping on each point in turn;
- top of the head,
- eyebrow point,
- side of the eye,
- under the eye,
- under the nose,
- under the bottom lip on your chin,
- along your collar bone,
- under your armpit (where your bra strap would be if female) and then back to the karate chop point. 

At each point repeat the statement, breathing deeply and calmly. If emotions rise during this, breathe and keep tapping until they reduce. You may wish to do 3, 4 or even 5 rounds of this. 

If you haven't seen my instructional videos on how to tap you can find it here, and my explanation of why EFT should and can be used when you're overwhelmed and trying to learn here. 

2. Use an affirmation!  

I recently wrote a blog post all about affirmations... you can find it here.  But put quite simply, an affirmation is a positive statement which you repeat silently to yourself, which helps combat negative thoughts. This helps quieten that negative, nagging voice deep inside and trains your subconscious to think and be more positive.

Affirmations can change your mindset from a place and fear, panic and worry to one that's confident, calm and in control. 

Why not try.. 

"Whatever happens, I'll handle it" or "I am powerful and in control" or "I am calm, confident and in control of how I feel." Or something direct like "I will pass this exam"!!  

Just repeat it silently to your self whenever you get the chance.  If you get distracted or find your mind wandering, that's ok and normal! Just be mindful of that and then bring your thoughts and awareness back to the affirmation.  This technique REALLY works! Just try it :)

3. Let go of your worries or biggest fears; literally! 

Title a page:  "Worries I want to let go of now."

What ever worries you most about the exam, the exam hall, the entire exam season, whatever it is, write it down. List all your worries and fears; no matter how small - even if it's needing a wee during the exam, being freezing cold in the hall or being distracted by the ticking clock. Write them down.

Imagine letting go of these worries. Imagine what life would be like without these worries...picture it, feel it, vision it. 

"I'm letting go of my worries and moving towards my vision of a worry free life" 

Try and do this each day. You have to exercise your positive thinking muscle. It might feel weak at first, but with persistence it gets stronger and stronger.

4. Ever heard of asking the universe for stuff? 

(This might be a step too far for some of you, thats cool. just skip this one!)

The book 'the secret', cosmic ordering, law of attraction? I only discovered the Law of Attraction in my late 20's and so wish I'd learned about it sooner! 

I'm a firm beliver in all that stuff and the notion of "what you think about, you bring about". Thinking negatively actually attracts negative stuff into your life. 

Thinking you won't pass your exams is pretty much a pre cursor for failing. So STOP! 

Write down exactly the grades you want to achieve in each subject.  No holding back, be bold and brave. Ask the universe/the cosmos/the angels/heaven (whatever you call it) for exactly what you want. Seal the list with the statement "I trust that these grades are sailing their way to me, I'm letting go of how, I just believe." 

And believe. Relax. Trust. You have to meet the universe half way with this - you can't just get an A by asking for it. You have to work, take baby steps, act in a way that helps bring what you want towards you. So revise, work hard, but don't worry. Worry only creates a state of lack, panic and fear.

No one wants that. End it.

5. If you haven't already done so, plan out when your exams are and when you will revise in between.  

I'm not just into alternative therapies and woo woo stuff. I'm an organisational geek at heart. I love streamlining stuff, making things easier and prioritising.

Sounds obvious but segmenting your time, having a plan and sticking to it; reduces the need to worry about what you should be doing and how you're going to manage your time - one less thing to worry about! 

Plan out each week, AM,  PM and evening. Plot in exams and revision sessions. Plot in your own personal study and rest/relaxation time. I have a 4 week planner available for free on my website, under the FREE RESOURCES section. 

No one else can plan this for you. You have to take action and be responsible. Be bold and brave; maybe even create your own affirmation for this; "I am organised and know what Im doing"!


Lastly.... Be kind, look after yourself, sleep when you need to sleep, eat what and when you need to eat, drink a PILE of water, daily. DONT talk about the exam after and don't take on other peoples worries. Get fresh air at every opportunity, get out in nature and take frequent doodle/colouring breaks! And please - put your phone in a drawer; there are no answers to your exam questions on SnapChat, Twitter or on the latest fashion blog :)

You won't need luck, so I wish you love and light x

Kathy xx

What is EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique?

What is EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique or Tapping? Hello and welcome to all my new subscribers! It's lovely to have you here on my journey! Thanks for being here!  I'm hoping you all enjoyed my Top Tips for Teens and Top Tips for Parents on how to reduce stress. How many of you have put these steps into action? I'd love to know; drop me an email. You may already know I'm an EFT practitioner and I aim to spread the word as much as possible! My mission is to help teens and young women clear and reduce the stress and pressures they face during the most pressurised and challenging time of their life, and I want EFT to be a big part of this.  So what EFT? Well, late one Saturday evening, me and my webcam got aquatinted and I finally recorded a video to answer that question!! This has been on my list to do for months, so I'm relieved to be finally sharing this with you. Phew!! See below for my explanation to 'What is EFT?' So it's now Sunday; and I've just enjoyed a gorgeous 2 weeks off. Monday is looming and it's so easy to be dragged down by the impending return to the daily grind. A wise man once said (I think it was my brother-in -law!):  "Don't let your Monday morning ruin your Sunday night!" I'll leave you with that thought. Don't let tomorrow dull your today. Be happy and present in this very moment. Go see a friend, watch a film, have a bath, do some revision (!?), basically do something that needs doing - take care of you and forget it's Monday tomorrow! I know I will :) With love Kathy x P.S. Keep a look out for more videos; "How to tap" and "What to say while tapping" are on their way!

Affirmations - Positive thinking - Positive Statements ....

Whatever you want to call them! Here's my story with them....

So during my early 20s I was in a bit of a bad place. I was just starting a career I didn't really like, that made me feel inadequate and I had collegues who prayed on that. I was living practically alone - away from family and friends and I had just lived through two disastrous relationships, which both chipped away at my integrity, confidence and self-worth.

I had little idea of who I was, what I wanted or loved or should be doing. I just had no idea. I was following everyone else's ideals and standards. I was trying to be what I thought other people would consider "successful". Im ashamed to say I even chose my career because I'd seen on facebook a number of "successful" people from school had started being teachers. (Yep, I chose my career based on other people!!) I was so desperate to be "successful" and fit in. I had no idea what I wanted. 

I was basically really lost and my inner voice, my intuition was screaming and shouting and jumping up and down! I knew it was all wrong. 

I somehow stumbled accross Susan Jeffers book "Feel the fear and do it anyway" I immediately clicked "Buy now".

It was one of those 'I'm meant to have this book and this is exactly what I need'kind of moments. It's probably the most defining moment of my adult life!! I owe so much to finding that book. 

So it came and I devoured it. It introduced me to affirmations. Positive thinking and a higher / lower self way of thinking. It changed me and my mindset. 

• I used to constantly be the victim. Everything happened to me. 
• I saw the bad or negative in everything.
• I never felt good enough.
• I though constantly about what others thought of me and would try extra hard to people please. 
• I had a negative, nagging inner critic who NEVER SHUT UP! 

I'm so thankful to say that all stopped. Because of affirmations.  Because of that book.  By all means it alone didn't get me to where I am now, but it was a start. It certainly didn't happen over night either. It was a long hard slog, constantly battling against my 'negative' mindset; but after a few weeks, things definitely got easier. 

So when I bang on about affirmations and a positive mindset I'm being totally honest and speaking from experience and the heart. I've never thought of sharing this experience before; but now seems the right time. :)

A perfect example of how affirmations helped me; I used to always be ill. I let illness run my life. I would hold back from doing things, miss out on events and get proper anxious if I was too busy; because for me, bring busy made me ill. Tiredness, sorethoats, colds, headaches. All pretty minor stuff but I was always ill, always negative and always missing out on life because of it too.

So whenever my inner critic would pipe up and tell me I was getting ill, I'd replace my thoughts with an affirmation:

"I'm strong and healthy and I fight off illness and infection."

And I can honesty say I've not been "ill" since. There's still days where I feel a bit under the weather, yes, and Ive probably replaced being ill with being tired (my fiends would argue! lol) but I no longer put life on hold, or cancel meetings with friends or limit my life in fear of getting ill!

They're powerful. Affirmations train your subconscious. (Susan's book has chapters on the logic and science behind it all). Your subconscious or your thoughts can rule your life. But the best thing is.... 

YOU can control your thoughts. You can train your subconscious or inner critic to think differently.  

I have a million more examples. .. I attribute meeting my partner to affirmations too!  

Some of my faves that I borrowed from the book or made up myself. ..

"I am powerful and loving and I have nothing to fear" 
"I am moving through my day with ease and clairty" 
"I am good at everything I do" 
"I am a good friend and people enjoy my company" 

Basically any bad or negative thought I had about myself I would use an affirmation to reverse it. I either used one of the affirmations from the book or I made my own up to suit my language. So it would be the total opposite of what I was thinking. Even if I didn't belive it at the time I kept with it - and you know what... things changed. So much so that I eventually believed it and would stop using it! 

All it takes is awareness and a bit of "thought training" and you can change your life. 

So I challenge you to listen and write down what YOUR inner critic says about you. What negative thought most rules your life? 

Reverse it! Put a totally positive spin on it. If its something like:

"Im no good at maths and Im going to fail",

reverse it to an "I AM"; so it may go something like:

"I AM a good mathematician and success is obvious" or "I AM successful and talented at Maths".

Even if you don't believe it right now, just keep with it. Every time the negative thought pops into your mind, reverse it, quieten it, silence it!

Let me know how you get on, and please get in touch if you have questions or a topic you'd like covering. This blog is A) For me to exercise my writing and helping people muscle (which I didn't know I loved so much!) and B) For you!

With Love

Kathy x

<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/14155427/?claim=petw6peupk6">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

June Lovliness...

Hello lovely people! 

Wow it seems like such a long time since I've been here!!

It's been such a busy and up and downy kind of month for KP EFT

My last blog I spoke about affirmations and shared my favourite book Susan Jeffers "Feel the fear and do it anyway". It really did change so much for me and I highly recommend it for anyone stuck in a cycle or pattern of negative thinking. You can access it by clicking 'previous issues' a the top if you missed it.

From there I've been having lots of family time and nurturing my friendships and special relationships.  I feel that's so needed sometimes and it ranks high up in my 'priorities'. Loads of walks in nature has really helped ground and relax me too. (Another strategy strategy highly recommend for stress relief!) 

I've upped my meditation and yoga with my amazing friend Julie Christian, who runs an amazing yoga class each week. Check out Jules In Yoga on Facebook if you live local to the Worksop area, to find out more, or visit her website www.julesinyoga.com.

I've also been working quite a lot on increasing my own self worth and value. Comparison is something I have always seemed to do, even from a young age. And to be frank it's always held me back. So I've been pushed and pushed this month to face it head on and deal with it. I've been tapping myself A LOT! Meditating and Journaling on it and my EFT friends have even helped out too! Thank you to Melanie Jayne EFT and Julie Christian. 

I'm finally in a place where I'm owning my own talents and I'm ready (almost!) to share them with the world!

I've got two big directions/projects which I've been building up over the last month or so. They're taking a lot of guts and determination to get them out of my dreams and into reality, which also is part of the reason I've been so quiet. I can't wait for them to be fully in action and in the flow... they're coming and I'll share them here first x

I've been working with a small group of girls who suffer from anxiety too. I've been meeting with them each week and we do a tapping "borrowing benefits" circle, where they share their biggest fears and worries around exams and we tap on them as a group. 

Here just one person takes the lead and the others tap along. It was an idea suggested during my time with The Tapping Foundation's Pilot Programme 'Getting EFT into Schools", and its such a fab way of helping multiple people. Borrowing benefits (I. E. Tapping your own points, whilst one person focuses on their problem with the Practitioner) really works - and the feedback has been awesome. 

It's been pretty amazing getting to know them and helping them. The results have far exceeded my expectations of how much I'd helped them. I'm so grateful and thankful  for having the opportunity to work in this way with the people I want to help full time.

Here's what Joan (not her real name, she asked me to make up an awesome name for her!) had to say:

"Before I wasn't very confident or comfortable in myself, I was confused about how I was supposed to act around people. After the sessions I have been more confident in my own abilities, more accepting and less panicky. Ive let go of the anger towards the other people and become better being around them. Ive been calmer in everyday life, I've been eating actual real meals too! All this was consuming my thoughts when I should have been concentrating on revision and exams, so Im so glad to have been able to let go of this stuff - thank you!"

I also worked with Arizona (not a made up name...she just already has an awesome one). Her full feedback can be found here. 

And I've had my birthday to celebrate!  What a perfect day :) Breakfast with my gorgeous tribe, Go Ape with a close friend and then family gathering where I was given the most special cake ever!! See pics below! All in all, it was a super day where I felt showered in love and friendship. I'm so grateful for the wonderful friendships I have created, the special people in my life and getting one year older!!

My gift list had seriously changed this year too - more on that in future blogs! 

I'm bubbling with new stories and topics to discuss with you, so look out for them in your inbox :)

Remember if you're reading this after seeing it posted on social media you may miss future posts. The safest way to ensure you get them is to subscribe at the top of the page or via my website www.kathrynpearson.co.uk/newsletters

Love and hugs xx