I will not ever do that again...

This time last year life was pretty exciting. I had decided I was going to quit my job to follow my dreams of helping people.

I knew I had more to give and I knew my heart wasn't in my current role as a School Teacher.

I'd discovered EFT - this amazing energetic therapy and it was transforming my life and the lives of my (few) clients.

I started out in January trying to help women with EFT and their struggle with weight and food.

It seemed logical.

Many 'people' had told me this was a lucrative and potentially successful area of business which would help me transition out of my job.

It seemed to use my skills and talents and even to some extent, my passions.

But it didn't feel quite right.

It didn't feel in alignment with my core desires or feelings. It felt a bit ikky.

Inside I was in turmoil. As the weeks passed and I got ZERO clients, I became more and more desperate to course correct and change what I was doing. My blogs were awful. I wasn't writing from the heart. I felt foolish and stupid.

I knew nothing about blogging, nothing about leadpages or growing my list, nothing about vlogs, Facebook ads, starting a YouTube channel, had little experince of working intuitively with EFT, I didn't listen to my intuition very often, I pushed and pushed myself, I didn't really meditate, I lived mostly out of my ego, I didn't do art or wasn't creative as often as I should be, I didn't take time for myself,  I didn't do yoga enough, I didn't breathe properly.

Don't get me wrong... I was learning and making huge steps in January 2015 (and previously in 2014), but I was in a very different place to now.

Thankfully in January 2015 I did something profoundly mind blowing for me. I took a whole 3 evenings and a full weekend away from my family and did a meditation/breathing course with the Art of Living. It was hard pushing through the "I can't leave my family/I feel so guilty/I can't afford it/I'm not good enough" fears!

However: (and I don't say this lightly)

It. Changed. My. Life.

Literally layers of my ego were shed .. by literally I mean I actually saw them evaporate away, leaving my body, disappearing up into the light.

I gained a clear insight into my desires and roots of my frustrations. 

I heard my inner voice loud and clear.

Be authentic

Be adventurous

Help the girls

Shine your light

Use your talents

We are all one

Love. Love yourself. Love others. Love.

It changed me on an energetic level. Life was never the same after that course. I still bang in a out it today because it was profoundly moving for me.

And then in March 2015 I wrote this blog http://eepurl.com/bgPaMz

It was one of the most scary things ever, but reading it back makes me cry with joy.

I told to my 'followers' (aka the world!) that I was changing course and focusing on teenagers. I'd spent the last 7 years with teenagers and I knew how much stress ruled their lives. I knew deep down my mission in life was to help them - teach them exactly what I'd learnt. 

I felt free, liberated, in tune and in the flow. Perfectly in alignment with what I was put here to do.

So March it all changed.  But I had NO idea how it was going to work. 

I kept getting all entangled in plans and more plans. What was I going to do? I had no idea.

But I was blessed with this inner faith and knowing that it was all going to be OK.

All because of my dedicated spiritual practice. 

Daily meditation was at the root of this. I started off doing my Kriya (breathing practice) which I learnt during the Art of Living course for 40 days following my course. But it was full on, fitting it into my busy working/home life was a struggle. I gave gratitude everyday, filling every page of my gratitude journal of 2015. Up until about November I did it religiously every night.  Every night!

Part way through the year the angels called me too! Me and a few of my hardcore tribe soul friends came across some amazing Doreen Virtue angel meditations and I listened to them everyday. I let go. I trusted and I enjoyed every moment of each day.  I felt supported and loved in a very new way. 

Now mid July I still had no clue how I was going to fulfil my dreams of helping teens. EFT seemed the best option at the time and I poured my heart into gaining clients and building my list, Facebook ads and blog writing.

I sent out a very scary blog article to a Blogger site and it was accepted! My very scary and personal  'story' was shared with the world! Find the link to it here: http://eepurl.com/bsBkiH

In August, after finishing Rebbecca Campbell's book, Light is the new black,  I felt confident enough to come out of my spiritual closet and I shared that in this blog - http://eepurl.com/bxg7Ln

I discovered I'm an empath, a highly sensitive person and even deeper than that, an intuitive highly sensitive.

For years I've thought something was wrong with me but it turns out I'm sensitive! Now if getting to know yourself on that kind of level isn't an achievement I don't know what is!

Each time I connected to my inner voice (my soul whispers or my 'intuition') I kept getting the same response:

"Be patient, all is well,  it's coming, we're working it all out for you, keep doing what you're doing, be patient, trust, allow, let go of the outcome"

I'm being serious - EVERY TIME! The same response.

So even in my desperation to know what the outcome was going to be, the only answers I ever got were ones of "just chill Kathy,  it's all fine." 

So I did.

I can't imagine what a state I would have got myself in, or what I would have done out of desperation had I not listened to those whispers. It seemed bonkers to everyone else - but I just kept my cool, chilled and trusted.

One morning in late August I came across a link to Charlotta Martinus' Teen yoga programme.

Ta-dah! Pivotal life moment alert.

I know wholeheartedly this wouldn't have come my way if I hadn't had created the space for it. If I hadn't trusted and let go of the outcome.

So the end of November comes. I'd had a stockpile of clients, written lots more of my book, completed my Teen Yoga training, marketed and carried out some Teen Yoga sessions, been briefly involved with Each Amazing Breath, been in meetings with local colleges and schools about Teen Yoga sessions and even written my most scariest and successful blog/article - which you can find here www.heysigmund.com/anxiety-or-highly-sensitive/ 


My head was spinning and I needed a break.

But the thing is I 'took a break' from everything. My whole spiritual practise broke down. I felt like I was the arm of a record player skipping over and over a record. Stuck. Replaying the same old crackly tune.

Which made the end of 2015 really, really hard. Hard to be positive. Hard to celebrate. Hard to recognise all the achievements of possibly my most exciting, inspiring and transformative year ever. I felt as though I was stuck in thick sludge and there was nothing or no one that could save me.

Writing this has been so cathartic for me.

I wasn't even sure I was going to publish this, I mean, who needs to hear THIS?!

But then something from my Time hop made me sit up and take notice. This time last year (and every year for the past 7) I was sitting at my desk MARKING A Level coursework - I hated it. I remembered very strongly how much I hated it. It was like a smack in the face - sit up and realise how far you've come! Sit up and acknowledge all that you've done, achieved and accomplished.  Sit up and bloody realise how amazing you are!!

I remember promising myself "I will not ever do this ever again - ever!"

And thats coming true.

I pushed through my ego fear of caring whether people want/need to hear this. My year was so transformational because I listened to my inner voice and wrote what it guided me to. And that helped people. It inspired people and it allowed me to feel in the flow. 

It doesn't matter if Im the only person to ever read this. It will go where it needs to go. I'm not attached to the outcome and 2015 taught me that.

My 2016 started with lots of meditation, gratitude and connecting with my soul whispers and I can safely say it will end that way too.

Thank you 2015. You were amazing. And I mean amazing. So much more has happened and unravelled and I'm so in love with my journey. I'm so in love with the soul who I am. I'm forever grateful.

www.kathrynpearson.co.uk

info@kathrynpearson.co.uk

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Coming Out Of My Spiritual Closet And My Life Being An Empath

So I've been reading a book called "Light is the new black" by Rebecca Campbell and within it she encourages you to be who you are and come out of the spiritual closest; if you're in one!

She talks about how this allows for everything in your life to be in alignment and when the authentic you is shown to the world, all your dreams and hopes and wishes can start to materialise.

This part of the book really spoke to me and called me to step up and come out of my spiritual closet! I've been in one for such a long time! Within the book she quotes a phrase:

 " I don't share to teach or convince others, I share to make those who feel the same as me feel less alone" 

That sold it to me. 

All my fears about "what people would think" went out the window; what people think of me is none of my business. 

If you don't like it or its too weird for you, I'm cool with that. I've never been everyone's cup of tea! 

All I care about is making people who feel the same as me feel less alone. It's that simple. 

Anyone who knows me, knows I'm a bit weird. Quirky, kooky and well, a bit different.

The world was tough and confusing. Being an only child, to a single parent, with polish speaking grandparents, poked fun of and picked on; my younger years were a bit of an emotional blur (but isn't everyone's?!).

From a young age, I didn't fit in many places, I was quiet and shy, I didn't like noise or frivolity, I was a bit of a wimp. I was sensitive, emotional and deeply empathic to people I hardly knew. It was a bit annoying. 

After 20 years or so of thinking there was something fundamentally wrong with me I finally discovered this was due to me being a Highly Sensitive Person, sometimes called Intuitive Sensitives or Empathic Sensitives, or just plain old 'Empaths'. 

Yeah! I'm not lying. This type of personality type/person actualy exists and I believe there is loads of us out there.

I'm proudly one of them, and it is my HSP personality type thats made me discover so much about spirituality. 

I'm good at sensing  people's emotions and can often feel how the people whom are closest to me feel. Not just know they're in a mood, but actually FEEL their emotions. Weird, but true.

I can also read most situations and understand (or have a feeling about) them long before the people involved do.

I intuitively know stuff, without being told or ever learning it. Nothing fazes me. 

This ultimately made my younger years a bit weird and confusing. I never asked to be like this. It certainly didn't feel like a gift. It's only after reading A LOT about being an empath and Heidi Sawyer's book titled "Highly Intuitive People" that I have come to accept myself. 

Just Googling "empath" or "highly sensitive people", will connect you to a whole new world!

I didn't trust this intuitive part of me for a long time though. Many people who know me wouldn't actually know this about me, because I shut it down to fit in. 

I stopped listening to this part of me and acted nievely and could be quite insensitive at times, often putting my foot in it and cringing for days afterwards about what I said. Or being overly loud and a bit crazy (this always involved alcohol I might add!). I certainly HATED the empathic side too; crying in public or at strangers weddings is NOT cool, and being thought of as a wimp because I get tired when I'm overwhelmed and over stimulated, makes me feel like a total baby.

I suppose my first experinece of it was in school and I always felt different, I knew what was going on and I didnt like it. So I stopped listening to my intuative and spiritual side and followed the crowd. I couldn't though, shut off my inner empath - annoying. 

I followed the crowd for so long. So, so long.

So what's it like to be an empath?

Well, I get exhausted if I'm in noisy places with a lot of people (shopping centres, schools etc) as I absorb and easily take on energies of people, even total strangers.

I'm particularly sensitive to noise. 

I'm so sensitive to smells - perfume is like the most potent and head-ache inducing poison. Blergh!

I hate clutter and mess. I believe "stuff" carries energies just like people do, and "stuff" makes me feel like a room full of crowded people do - exhausted and irritable!

I can intuitively feel and sense someones emotions, sometimes this effects my moods and it can be totally confusing to know exactly how I feel.

These kind of attributes make me a bit of a nightmare friend and partner. As if I'm over stimulated, not rested, looked after or around any form of negativity I get snappy, anxious and agitated. This results in emotional outbursts - anger and sadness - and those closet to me, get it the hardest.

Often feeling like "no one understands me, I'm all alone, I just can't take any of this anymore"

That is until I learned about 'me'. Now I know these things about me I protect myself, (learn how in future blogs) and I accept wholeheartedly the person I am. I

'm and so easy going, hard working, fun, creative, adventure seeking, active and highly amusing (so I'm told!) it's not all doom and gloom being a HSP! Reading Heidi Sawyers book made me understand why I was one and all the benefits of being one. The links between discovering this about myself and discovering my own spirituality were astonishing to me. 

I once read that empaths will be in-demand in a rapidly changing world - knowing intuitively how to solve issues and problems. The world is evolving and the human race is too. 

With books like "The Highly Sensitive Child" by Elaine Aron and "The Strong, Sensitive boy" by Ted Zeff, it's obvious there are more Empaths or HSP's being born in the world, and struggling to fit in, just like me. 

So, what about spirituality? 

I couldn't make sense of the world, but I always had a sense that I should be doing something a bit different within it.

From a young age I was into essential oils and aromatherapy, but this was long before that kind of therapy was mainstream.  It was almost like a little secret I'd keep hidden; what would people think if they knew I was into smelly oils!? 

To my mum I would admit I wanted to be a holistic therapist, but to the world I just wanted to be accepted.

I loved art and making things. One of the best thing my mum ever bought me was an art encyclopedia! I loved that freaking book! None of my friends seemed to though.

Scared of not being aceepted or fitting in, I adopted a 'Kathy the world would accept' personality, and stopped being the real me.

She came with me everywhere and I fooled pretty much every person I met. I left the real Kathy (who loved alternative and holistic therapies, uber nutritious foods, crystals, angels, chakras, yoga, art and the Horoscopes) at home but soon she was so neglected and dismissed, she started to disappear.

That's when I turned my back on any form of "spirituality" I had started and forged through life, living each day as 'normal' Kathy, I stopped listening to my intuition and inner voice.

I always felt lonely, I always felt like a victim and I never honoured my 'self'. 

I lived in my Human Ego Personality. 

I know, belive and wholeheartedly understand that this has happened to thousand if not millions of girls and women all across the globe, but now it's safer than ever to delve back into your spirit, your inner voice and a your soul. 

Celebs like Russell Brand is doing a STERLING job of trying to wake up the world, even Kanye, Madonna, Gwyneth P, Richard Gere, Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, Goldie Hawn and Oprah talk openly about their spiritual side. 

Only now, after being pushed and pushed and pushed by the universe, to discover more about my spirituality, rediscovering my passions and gifts, do I really feel like who I am, who I should be. And it feels super ace to get it all down on paper and share it. For once I don't care what people think!


I know I'm a little out there, but I'm intelligent, savvy, talented, funny, grateful, kind, caring, attentive, loving, sensitive, empathic and I make the most of what I have.

Being 'spiritual' doesn't mean I think I'm better or any different from anyone else. 

Everyone is on a journey. 

We are all just at different points of that journey and there isn't even an end point. 

Just when you think there is, something massive comes along and shows you there's more room to grow.

Spirituality isn't religion either.

My spirituality for me is connecting to 'source' (The universe, the light, God, spirit, soul) as much as possible (I do this through meditation) and know that everything happens for a reason. Even the darkest times are for a reason, for our souls growth. There's no victim mode when we know this. Even my irritations are to help my souls experince something, in my physical body.

I believe we are all a soul, who's been here for lifetimes, in a human body. Each soul chooses the body, the family, the parents and even the experiences we have. 

I know this maybe hard to get your head around, but Steve Jobs once said: "you can't connect the dots looking forward, but looking back, the harshest and painful times in my life, were for a reason." Watch this video for a very human explanation of this concept!

It's about finding what really matters in life and living in love and peace.  Raising the love and vibration of the planet so that we can all live in harmony. Being kind, giving thanks and most importantly GROWING.

The more of us that wake up, the less dark there is. The more love, unity and peace there is, the more quickly the world will ascend. 

The more benefits to humanity, the planet and our future generations.

People's perceptions of me are usually very, very wrong. (I blame the alcohol!)

That's cool, because here is where I share the real me. I've finally found somewhere I can pour out my heart and head and help people.

So to everyone reading this, you're not alone. You never are. Your soul is always with you. Even the angels are with you, if you ask them to be. 

I've lived most of my entire life as someone else and thinking I was alone, and I'm done with that.

So here's me. I'm 'out'. I believe in some pretty far out stuff. I'm empathic and sensitive. I'm crazy and often have awkward conversations. I love trees and nature. I love my friends and family. I've learned to let go of what people think and I embrace each day. I still struggle at times to accept the real me and how I truly feel because I can easily take on other peoples energy and this infiltrates mine and affects my mood. I need a lot of rest, quiet and downtime. I need feeding regularly! I'm fierce and determined. I'm very passive and accepting. I'm open. I don't have walls. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Most of all I'm kind and compassionate and very considerate and I believe in spirituality, angels, god, light and unicorns. I belive I have a purpose and by writing this I'm living it.

Phew!

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Wobble time!

We all get them. I'm having one right now. I'm having a "wobble". 

(I'm not sure which of my friends invented this phrase, but it's one we like to use a lot!)

I'm ratty and I'm moody and I'm generally pissed off.

No matter how much positive thinking I do,  how much I meditate, how hard and I try and work law of attraction, no matter how many angels I call upon. I'm having a wobble. 

A fear based wobble. 

If I didn't know what I know now, I'd think there was something wrong with me. I'd think I'm selfish and unworthy of all the nice things I have in my life, because dispite all the love and friendship and abundance I have, I'm in a mood and I'm being a cow to my nearest and dearest. 

But I know, because I've learned to analyse my moods and behaviour (mainly through EFT practice)  I know deep down I'm feeling like this because: 

I'm scared and I'm letting my ego or my human personality lead the way in my thinking. 

I'm not letting myself feel supported by something bigger than me (the universe, source, God) because my ego is in fear mode, trying to keep me safe. It's telling me to give up. 

I have one week left at work then I'm all alone. I'm leaving a secure job which pays well to do something that I haven't even figured out yet. What the actual f***?!

And so I'm scared. 

But I know this wobble won't last forever. And the fact that I'm writing about it gives it less power, and the more I write, the more I know I'm doing the right thing. 

I'm facing this wobble head on. 

Had it not been for all of my EFT practice, friends, my mentor and other spiritual practices I've learned about on the way, I'd probably have no clue what was wrong with me, and would think I was just being miserable, because I'm a miserable person. That's what I used to belive anyway. 

I'd smoke and drink to feel better. I'd cry and cry and cry. I'd mope about and feel sorry for myself. I'd beat myself up for not being grateful. I'd think I was a bad person. 

Wobbles are part of the process. Bad days, doubts and fears are all there to remind us we are human, but do we find the strength and courage to carry on? Of course we do!

So to all of us having wobbles out there. It's our egos/personalities way of keeping us safe and stuck. There's nothing wrong with us - don't listen to the mind monkey!

Shake it off and tell your fear... "thank you for looking out for me, I'm grateful that you're trying to keep me safe, but it's ok. I've got this. I'm going to be careful, I'm going to be brave." 

Then tell yourself... this is just fear, I'm letting my ego based fear get the better of me. It's all going to work out OK because I'm following my heart, my soul, my light. I'm doing what lights me up and just because that's different from everyone else, doesn't mean it's wrong or bad or that I'm doomed! 

Love, light and dreams!! 
Kathy xxx

A late night note to me, my soul and I xx

This is me. Who I am. Who I'm supposed to be.

This is a letter to me. To remind me who I am and what I'm here to do.  What lights me up the most.

I just saw the most horrific case of double child neglect on TV.  (A child was neglected and then in turn neglected her own child ad a teenage parent) it lead to the death of a beautiful baby. My heart broke and I sobbed. For the dead baby, for the teenage child mother. For the abuse she suffered and for the life which led her to treat her children in the way she did. My soul screamed at me.... help the girls. HELP THE GIRLS.

I've always maintained throughout my journey that I wanted to help people.  That has never ever changed.  But each new situation and as each layer of my ego falls away, I'm presented with more and more heartbreaking stories of how young girls, teenagers, are suffering. Their life experiences are so screwed up that they're pushed further into their dark.

It makes me so mad that their lights aren't shining brightly.


My light was dimmed.  Not in horrific circumstances, but over time. It was more gradual. And I thank God that it was. Because if my path had been different,  I wouldn't feel their pain like I do. I wouldn't empathise and feel their desperation. I wouldn't hear this call inside me.

I'm ashamed, that for a long time, I've had a smidgen of snobbery about who I want to help. Maybe it's not so much snobbery, but fear keeping me safe and stopping me from dreaming too big.

This all has to change.

A while back I had a small glimmer of an idea about setting up a refuge or a charity or some kind of centre. Where I could have a team of staff doing amazing work. All for free. Going out into communities. Helping teenage girls. Inspiring them.
But I dimmed the light that shone on that idea, why? Well because it seemed too big, like too much effort, who am I to do such a thing?! How on earth would I do it?! Pffft!

To be honest, fear took hold and made me turn my back on that idea. Choosing to instead focus on something more safe. (Errr hello! Fear based reaction!)

But after witnessing and sobbing and feeling the light in my heart ache when I saw this young girl, I felt inspired to write this. I'm putting it out to the universe to help guide me in the right direction.  I'm acting upon my souls whispers. This is my first step. I have no idea what the next will be. Thats ok.
But I'm not letting fear stop me xx

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Walking the talk! Living my passions

Walking my talk....

I recently posted about following my passions. I never in a million years thought that by just doing more of the things I enjoyed, that I would be led to discover my purpose.

So here's the proof that I walk my talk!

Ive been attending a weekly art class. BLISS!! This means I've had to miss one of my other joys - yoga! I've had to time manage and slot it in elsewhere. There is always time. Even though I'm not the best at this, I know how important it is to keep ono top of your commitments. Even 10 mins of Yoga for me, makes massive difference.

I've started to create something which I hope will help a lot of people. After the success of my revision and subject planners I created, Ive decided to go a bit deeper and dream a bit bigger. I'm only at the very start but I'm excited about where it could go. I wish I could sit down and pour everything into it right now, LIKE NOW! But I can't with a job, a home to run, a 3 year old, a partner, friends... A LIFE! Im not using my perceived busy life as an excuse, for not showing up, but I have to be kind to my self and know that I WILL make time and it will get finished.

I will not let fear (even the subconscious ones) to turn into avoidance and procrastination, which may mean it never gets finished!

In true Leonie style, Ive taken a ride on the idea donkey, Ive had to get off but the crazy idea creative donkeys are grazing in my garden for now :)

Ive spent a lot of time outdoors connecting with nature. Sounds pretty hippyfied... and yeah it kind of is! But its where I relax and let go. Noticing nature and the life force around me, I let go and find peace. So needed in todays busy world. I always take my phone (OBVS!) but I put it on airplane mode ;) so I don't get disturbed! ..... see Im not just a pretty face!

I'm also playing with the idea of being a veggie. My body hates meat - indigestion and bloat. Not attractive. So I'm listening and being kind. I feel about a stone lighter. Vegetarianism isn't for everyone. And Im not advocating cutting out any food group from your diet!!

And OMG! Ive grown my own flowers! Happiness!!

Thorough all of this I'm happier, calmer and feel like I'm doing what I should be doing. Sometimes I have to do it alone cos no one will come with me - but thats cool. I don't need approval and constant company. But high fives to the crazy people who are lovely enough to love what I love!

Stuff has been flying into my life almost at lightening pace. Ive been a guest blogger and client opportunities are flourishing too. Im writing more and this is helping me connect with more people, enabling me to inspire and help them! Just what I wanted :)

Peace out beauts xx

What's your purpose? Are you living yours?

"If you can't figure out your purpose, figure out your passion, for your passion will lead you directly to your purpose." T. D. Jakes.

It's a great quote. But actually, how scary would it be to follow the advice?

You maybe choosing your options - GCSE or A Level,  maybe even thinking about what to do at Uni? Or you're finishing your Uni course and now you have to get a real job? You could have even done all this, have a job and you STILL don't know what to do.

I certainly didn't.

I pretty much had no clue what to do with my life until last year. I'm 32.

I have vague memories of my passions from the ages of about 8 and again at 10. But these memories are there because they're quite painful. I remember trying my best at something I loved, only for it all to go wrong. Embarrassing. Door closed. I learned it was too painful and embarrassing to do what I loved, so I stopped doing it.

It's taken me A LOT of digging, searching, regressing,  being brutally honest,  hiding,  testing, trying and generally going on a massive emotional journey to get just a bit of my passion back.

Such a big part of me has fought this, on every level. My negative nagging voice has told me to give up endless times. But I'm determined to find my purpose in this world. I know I'll never be truely happy until I do. Trust me; I've had a decent job, decent car, nice house.....nice "stuff" and part of me still craved more. Part of me, dispite having all the material abundance I could have wished for, was still unhappy, or rather "unfullfilled". Im certainly not unhappy with my life - I have an amazing partner, a beautiful healthy daughter, loving friends and family, even a better than average dog and much, much more - I love so much of my life.

It is my career and what I do day in day out which gives me this sense of unfulfillment.

I don't want to live like that anymore.

As an intuitive sensitive empath (or highly sensitive person) I always felt alone, lost, confused,  unable to make decisions on my own and fully insecure about my path in life.

So I'm sharing to help, inspire and evoke change. (Belive it or not - That's one of my passions!)

I don't want more of you guys, to do this. Waste your time. Spend endless years in miserable jobs, endless time searching and wishing things were different. And making bad decisions which will not and do not make you happy.

So what do I believe? 

Well, firstly we all have a purpose. Wether you believe in God or not - the universe has a purpose for you in this lifetime. When you live it, realise it and honour it, you will find happiness. I'm just starting to realising this. Nothing makes me happier than helping people, inspiring and creating. It's a joy that is like no other. Pure joy and happiness.

I also believe your passions are evoked and developed in childhood.

Then, most of us, have some kind of experinece or influences from peers/parents role models etc. which put us off our passion. I.e. comments like "you can't make a living being an artist", "It's not a real job" or thoughts like "That hobby I have (i. e. Baking, decorating cakes, designing dresses, writing,  making music, drawing, creating), is nice and I'm good at it, but you're not the best" or "it's a tough industry to break", "you need to stop dreaming get a real job".... blah blah.

And our passion gets forgotten, swept away and dismissed. As it did for me.
Maybe you've had a similar experience?

See, I loved creating things for other people to have fun with or use. I remember making a treasure hunt style game with some "The little mermaid" stickers (man, I so wanted to be a mermaid!) for a brownie camp I was going on. I spent days putting them together and creating. I was in my flow. I was doing something I loved. I wanted people to enjoy and have fun using my resource.
I was so excited. Sadly, I'd not thought it out fully enough (I was about 8) and it didn't work out. EVERYONE knew it had gone wrong. It was so embarrassing and painful. Blergh! I learned never to do it again. And I didn't.  I stopped creating things for people to enjoy at the age of 8 or 9.

I loved art and design,  and chose these as options at school,  but never felt "good enough" to follow them through into a career. I'm naturally a perfectionist and because I wasnt the best in my class, I didn't feel I could follow these subjects through to university because they're would be tons more talented people than me and it was too painful and embarrassing to "not be the best" and it wasn't worth my time and effort.

Realising this about myself has been a huge weight off my shoulders. It's made me realise that I don't have to he the best at everything I do, and slowly I'm learning to trust  myself, my soul, again and rekindle my connection to what I love.  But how sad....

I missed out on a whole 3-5 years of undergraduate study, possible careers and expeeineces which would have directly linked to my passions and possibly my purpose.

Ok, so what I'm saying rings true,  you've had a similar experience to me. You have a incling of what your purpose could be but..... and it's a big but:

-You're scared
-You don't think you're good enough
-What will people think?
-You're never going to earn much money

-You have a job, you should be grateful

-You cant possibly turn your back on a career or job now... it's too late!

No, no, no, no, NO!

I'm living proof. At 32, I'm quitting my job as a successful teacher after 7 years. Who knows what the future holds, but all I know is that life is too short to let FEAR determine my happiness and fulfilment.

And it was so surprising to find out that fear of not having "stuff" in the future was one of the main worries that teens felt when I conducted some research.

Worries about not getting a good job, not being able to buy a house, a car, clothes.

There we have it. FEAR.

Fear of not being the best.
Fear of not fitting in.
Fear of not having enough money.
Fear of following our dreams.
Fear of being embarrassed.
Fear of looking silly.
Fear of not being a success.
Fear of not having enough stuff.
Fear of what people will think.
Fear of not living up to expectations.
Fear
Fear
Fear

Fear keeps us stuck.

So what did I do? What can YOU do?

Re-read that quote. Then follow it.

If you can't figure out your purpose, figure out your passion, for your passion will lead you directly to your purpose.

I took the time to remember what my passions were: helping people, giving advice, yoga, eating well (nutrition), adventure, the outdoors, creating (specifically for me drawing and painting), and surprisingly; writing.

I took the time to build these into my busy life, daily and weekly.

I took little steps.

I took the time to journal and rediscover what was already inside of me.

I made a massive effort not to let other peoples ideals, standards and perceptions affect MY choices.

I did what was right for me. 

I made a pact with fear - that I would recognise it as just that; a feeling of fear, then I chose to walk right on by it, right through it. 

I made sure I took time to reflect and learn from every one of life misdemeanours, mishaps and set backs. 

I made no solid plans and have no preconceptions of how this will turn out.

I made a decision to trust.

I surround myself with positive and uplifting people. I read, I absorb and try my best to walk my talk. I give thanks, I appreciate what I have, I practice my skills and talents.

Most of all, I value my inner voice and I live in the moment. 

Until next time....

I send you love xxx