So you failed? Something went wrong? Life's s@*t!!

So exam results are out, it's either a happy time or one of bitter disappointment and regret.

If you passed your exams then WOO HOO!! Go you. You've seen first hand how hard work pays off and you should completely relish this feeling. Remember all that hard work and worry? Well now you know it's all worth it ;)

BUT if you're not feeling like the above annoying paragraph, then this could be the post for you...

What do you do when you've failed your exams?

Firstly know you're not the first and you won't be the last. You're not alone.

Also, failure doesn't mean that's it. It's not the end. It's just the beginning my dear!

Do you believe that if you fail then that's it? Where does that belief come from? Because it's certainly not true. 

Failure is here in your life experience to TEACH YOU SOMETHING. Failure, whilst disappointing and a bit embarrassing, is here for a reason. Everything happens for a reason and if you can't see that yet, then stop crying and wipe your eyes, because I promise the answer will be revealed to you.

The British education system is not for everyone. It's certainly no perfect standard for which to measure yourself against. It itself is flawed and ridiculous and the ridiculousness of it all is one of the main reasons I left education. It doesn't cater for everyone. It's not inclusive and in my opinion is an unfair way of measuring 16 year olds.

Learning how to grow from disappointment or failure is one of the best skills you can develop, and I encourage you to master it! 

If you're not scared then you're not growing, is some of the best advice I've picked up along my way. And I urge you to let that sink in.

If somethings not scary, or hard, or challenging, then you're not growing. IF something is scary, or hard, or challenging, THEN YOURE GROWING, and that a bloody good thing! Life is  ALLLLLL about growth - simple!

So I'm growing, great. So what do I actually do I do now then?

Well I've devised some probing questions to help push you gently along and find some answers. They might feel a bit raw and even painful to answer. I urge you to be as honest as possible. Just answer the questions, see what comes up. If the answers scare you - definitely do it. 

 - What did you learn from this situation?

Maybe that you're not good at exams? That the revision you did wasn't effective? That you panic and forget stuff? That you simply didn't do enough? That the education system is annoying and unfair? What ever it is, acknowledge it and put in place steps to overcome this.

- What can you do to improve now going forward in your life? 

What ever the situation taught you, acknowledge it and put in place steps to overcome this from ever happening again. What can you do next time to change the outcome. What have you LEARNED?

- Looking back, what did you do right? What did you do best at? 

Always focus on the positives. Yeah you might not be great at maths, but focus on your strengths. For they are your skills and talents. And your skills and talents are what will make you successful. They might not be the same as everyone else, but that's a good thing! You certainly don't need a GCSE in Maths to be successful in your life (yes, you might need it if you want to go to university but that doesn't define success). 

 - What do you really want to do now?

Focus on your dreams and goals, not the path of your friends or others. Be honest with yourself and your parents, listen to that inner voice that is whispering to you. 

- What could be your next steps towards this dream or goal?

Get investigating. 

- Is your path totally blocked because you've failed your exams?

Have you asked? That college place might still accept you. Don't write something off until you KNOW. Is there a way to retake a failed exam? Investigate your options.

- Is there something positive you can do to help refocus you and your thoughts? 

Focus on you. What could you do to help feed your soul and your purpose?

And if you think you're the only one , here's a list of people who failed numerous times, or dropped out of school at 16, or who were told they'd never make anything of themselves, who were told they weren't good enough. 

Point being - KEEP TRYING, DON'T GIVE UP, STAY FOCUSSED, BE YOU. 

Bill Gates
Walk Disney
Alan SugarAlbert Einstein 
Winston Churchill 
Thomas Edison 
Oprah Winfrey
Jk Rowling
the Beatles
Simon Cowell
Jonny Depp
Richard Branson

Top Tips for Surviving Your Exam Period

So it's finally here.
You've revised your back side off, you've had sleepless night, tearful breakdowns, panicked, stressy and angry outbursts. 

There's nothing more you can do now.

And if that statement alone makes your heart sink and tummy flutter, then this blog is for you! 

When I was sitting my exams all the advice given was, well pretty rubbish. And it seems to have been regurgitated every year since. I'm still reading blogs and news posts with the same "helpful tips for the exam period". Bore off. 

So here's my 'alternative' but actionable and practical take on the normal mainstream tips for you guys sitting exams .... like imminently. 

1. Tap. Seriously. Tap, tap, tap! I'm talking EFT here, Emotional Freedom Technique often called tapping. 

What is tapping? And why on earth should I listen to this crazy woman? See my videos below!

Just 5 mins of tapping before you leave for your exam, or the night before, can transform the way you feel.

Even 5 mins in the toilets before you get called in can seriously help. (Anythings got to be better than listening to people with surnames begging with the same letter as yours, bang on about their exam stories - right?) 

"Tapping in" some positive statements or affirmations can calm the stress centre of the brain, the amygdala, which clears negative emotions and boosts confidence. 

This stuff honestly works! I have helped so many teens using this technique during this exam period. My YouTube Channel has tons of videos which explain and show you how. Pop over there to find out more. Here's how you can start tapping now:

Start by tapping on the karate chop point, the fleshy part of the side of your hand; repeating a positive statement to yourself such as, "I am calm and confident, I can pass this exam". 

Repeat 3 times here, before moving through the points starting at the top of the head. 

Repeat the positive statement "calm and confident", "I will pass this exam" etc whilst tapping on each point in turn;
- top of the head,
- eyebrow point,
- side of the eye,
- under the eye,
- under the nose,
- under the bottom lip on your chin,
- along your collar bone,
- under your armpit (where your bra strap would be if female) and then back to the karate chop point. 

At each point repeat the statement, breathing deeply and calmly. If emotions rise during this, breathe and keep tapping until they reduce. You may wish to do 3, 4 or even 5 rounds of this. 

If you haven't seen my instructional videos on how to tap you can find it here, and my explanation of why EFT should and can be used when you're overwhelmed and trying to learn here. 

2. Use an affirmation!  

I recently wrote a blog post all about affirmations... you can find it here.  But put quite simply, an affirmation is a positive statement which you repeat silently to yourself, which helps combat negative thoughts. This helps quieten that negative, nagging voice deep inside and trains your subconscious to think and be more positive.

Affirmations can change your mindset from a place and fear, panic and worry to one that's confident, calm and in control. 

Why not try.. 

"Whatever happens, I'll handle it" or "I am powerful and in control" or "I am calm, confident and in control of how I feel." Or something direct like "I will pass this exam"!!  

Just repeat it silently to your self whenever you get the chance.  If you get distracted or find your mind wandering, that's ok and normal! Just be mindful of that and then bring your thoughts and awareness back to the affirmation.  This technique REALLY works! Just try it :)

3. Let go of your worries or biggest fears; literally! 

Title a page:  "Worries I want to let go of now."

What ever worries you most about the exam, the exam hall, the entire exam season, whatever it is, write it down. List all your worries and fears; no matter how small - even if it's needing a wee during the exam, being freezing cold in the hall or being distracted by the ticking clock. Write them down.

Imagine letting go of these worries. Imagine what life would be like without these worries...picture it, feel it, vision it. 

"I'm letting go of my worries and moving towards my vision of a worry free life" 

Try and do this each day. You have to exercise your positive thinking muscle. It might feel weak at first, but with persistence it gets stronger and stronger.

4. Ever heard of asking the universe for stuff? 

(This might be a step too far for some of you, thats cool. just skip this one!)

The book 'the secret', cosmic ordering, law of attraction? I only discovered the Law of Attraction in my late 20's and so wish I'd learned about it sooner! 

I'm a firm beliver in all that stuff and the notion of "what you think about, you bring about". Thinking negatively actually attracts negative stuff into your life. 

Thinking you won't pass your exams is pretty much a pre cursor for failing. So STOP! 

Write down exactly the grades you want to achieve in each subject.  No holding back, be bold and brave. Ask the universe/the cosmos/the angels/heaven (whatever you call it) for exactly what you want. Seal the list with the statement "I trust that these grades are sailing their way to me, I'm letting go of how, I just believe." 

And believe. Relax. Trust. You have to meet the universe half way with this - you can't just get an A by asking for it. You have to work, take baby steps, act in a way that helps bring what you want towards you. So revise, work hard, but don't worry. Worry only creates a state of lack, panic and fear.

No one wants that. End it.

5. If you haven't already done so, plan out when your exams are and when you will revise in between.  

I'm not just into alternative therapies and woo woo stuff. I'm an organisational geek at heart. I love streamlining stuff, making things easier and prioritising.

Sounds obvious but segmenting your time, having a plan and sticking to it; reduces the need to worry about what you should be doing and how you're going to manage your time - one less thing to worry about! 

Plan out each week, AM,  PM and evening. Plot in exams and revision sessions. Plot in your own personal study and rest/relaxation time. I have a 4 week planner available for free on my website, under the FREE RESOURCES section. 

No one else can plan this for you. You have to take action and be responsible. Be bold and brave; maybe even create your own affirmation for this; "I am organised and know what Im doing"!


Lastly.... Be kind, look after yourself, sleep when you need to sleep, eat what and when you need to eat, drink a PILE of water, daily. DONT talk about the exam after and don't take on other peoples worries. Get fresh air at every opportunity, get out in nature and take frequent doodle/colouring breaks! And please - put your phone in a drawer; there are no answers to your exam questions on SnapChat, Twitter or on the latest fashion blog :)

You won't need luck, so I wish you love and light x

Kathy xx